This came from the bard house:
Sung to the tune of "Staying Alive"
Well, you can tell by the way my hitpoints go,
I'm a ranger man: AC's too low.
My blades are sharp and shields are scorned,
I've been tankin' mobs since I was born.
And now it's all right - it's okay.
And I may snare and run away.
You can try - to understand -
why mobs only hit a ranger man.
If you are in danger and if you're not a ranger,
You're stayin alive, stayin' alive.
Feel my bones a-breakin'
and my ivy helm a-shakin'
and you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin alive.
STAYIN ALIIIIIIIIIVE... yeah!
Well now, I get spanked or I get beat
But if I don't get either it's really neat.
Got low delay blades in each fist
I'm a dual-wield man - and I get mobs pissed.
You know it's all right, it's okay.
I'll get my corpse another day.
You can try - to understand -
why you chain-heal a ranger man.
If you are in danger and if you're not a ranger,
You're stayin alive, stayin' alive.
Feel my bones a-breakin' and my ivy helm a-shakin'
and you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin alive.
STAYIN ALIIIIIIIIIVE... yeah!
Life goin' quickly. Somebody heal me.
Somebody heal me, yeah.
Life goin' quickly. Somebody heal me, yeah.
Stayin' Alive --- (to beginning and fade... Well, you can tell.... )
Also -- this from the same area... (LOL, I hope all you rangers are nice and thick headed, but I found this kind of amuseing and just had to share...)
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Q: Why does it rain so much in the Karanas?
A: Because everytime a ranger dies, Tunare sheds a tear.
Q: How can you tell a ranger tried to break into your house??
A: Your cat is camping his corpse.
Q: Why don't rangers get FD?
A: Because the fall to the ground would kill them.
Q: What do you call a Warrior with no arms and no legs?
A: I don't know, but it's better than a Ranger.
Q: How do you know when a ranger has been tanking?
A: They're ususally standing naked at their bind spot.
Q: Why do Rangers get some of the best haste items in the game?
A: So they can die faster.
Q: Why is ranger armor green and brown?
A: Green so they can find their corpse in the dirt and brown so they can find their corpse on the grass.
Q: Whats the shortest Ranger joke ever?
A: LFG.
Q: What do you call a druid that doesnt have any spells and thinks he can melee?
A: A Ranger!
Q: What is the difference between a ranger and a corpse?
A: 30 seconds of combat!
Q: What did one ranger say to the other at the soulbinder?
A: Do you come here often?
Q: Why did the Ranger cross the road ?
A: Because the chicken got him down to half a bub !
Q: What's the difference between an Orc Pawn and a Ranger?
A: An Orc Pawn doesn't get teased as much as the Ranger.
Q: What did Emperior Crush say when the 100th Ranger tried to solo him?
A: DING...!!!!!
Q: What's the difference between a Ranger and the security detail that accompanies James T Kirk on away missions?
A: Rangers don't have red shirts.
Q: What inspired Absor to come up with the Ranger class?
A: By watching Kenny in the various South Park episodes.
Q: What's the difference between a Ranger and Harry Potter?
A: One of them is a scrawny, 125lb weaking nerd that couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag and the other is a wizard.
Q: Why did Absor create the PoP expansion set with so many portal books?
A: To help Rangers reach their corpses faster.
Q: What name did Absor gave to forest warriors in EQ2?
A: Rangers 2.0
Q: What do you call a level 60 Ranger?
A: Blessed
Q: What do you call a level 65 Ranger?
A: Gifted
Q: What do you call a Ranger with over 356 days of play time?
A: Masochistic
Q: What's the only difference between Wild E Coyote and a Ranger?
A: A Ranger's death is usually not the result of items ordered from Acme.
Q: Why do Clerics not heal Rangers?
A: It's more mana-efficient to res a ranger then to heal one.
Q: Why do Necros alway follow Rangers around?
A: There's always a body available for them to cast Wake the Dead.
Q: What are 3 things to ask rangers?
1- Ask if they need to get Aego before going in out door zones just in case it rains and they start losing HP.
2- Ask them if they've made a "/consent" hotkey yet to save time.
3- Ask them why they came to this raid, since there will be no need for them to eat any DT's.
Some misc. ranger jokes :
Ranger = Tank Simulator
/shout TRAIN TO ZONE!!! RANGERS AND CHILDREN FIRST!!
A_Random_Guildie says, "What does this MOB drop?"
You say, "RANGERS!"
A Ranger walks into a bar.... LOADING PLEASE WAIT.
We had a late comer to our raid last night. Was a ranger who needed to be led thru High Hold Pass (we were after Stanos for the rogue mask). Another one of our Rangers went to find him. After a quick round of "marco polo" style searching, our cleric sprouted /rsay Great, two rangers trying to look for each other. We're gonna be here all night.
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Monk (pulling): "Incoming, random_mob_o1 times three!!"
Raid Leader: "Off yer butz! Meleers to the front, casters step back....rangers....try to look as if you are contributing."
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First time my old alliance of guilds to kill Innoruuk, we used a ranger to take the DT.
Our reasoning was "rangers suck at damage dealing and he's gonna die anyway."
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Did you hear they are changing the Ranger epic to give it a useful effect for Rangers? They are now going to proc Resurrection!
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Q: What is the cheapest form of Rune?
A: Lvl 65 Ranger.
Q: How many rangers does it take to change a lightbulb.
A: None, the bulb was still cooling and the damage they took from touching the barely warmed glass killed them instantly.
Q: Why do they call them rangers?
A: Because no one would play a "RezMe".
<<LOL -- note: the jokes up above don't represent my opinion of the class at all. ESPECIALLY the ones with rangers stinking at DPS... As far as I can tell, a ranger with EQ, AM3 and one of the high-end bows is just about the best substained DPS in the game. And when they click True Shot, their output is just amazing.. I have a lot of respect for the class, and don't want anyone to think I was just tossing pot shots at them. 
>>
<laughs>
Humm thanks PB no other class is as young and handsome
Elsa lol
LMAO! ya we had someone post that ranger joke thread on our website too! i *LOVE* it! lol!
I'm a 65 rogue and me and the other rangers in my guild are ALLWAYS arguing about who has the best DPS....and so naturally i tease them as opften as possible, and that thread gave me tons of material 
as far as best DPS in the game.....
in all honesty now.....
on a very short fight Wizards are best
on a long fight mob that is Walled or when too many people get in a Rangers line of sight, Rogues are hands the best DPS (even better than Rangers or Wizards)
Mages with the right AA's can toss out short burst DPS greater than even Wizards
If a mob is rooted or balanced well....and if the ranger has good AA and the right bow.....and fires Trueshot.....he MAY outdamage a well equipped high AA Rogue.....
it's so close on those type mobs that it's not worth argueing over....BUT.....if you are so inclined to argue over it.....it basiclly comes down to the gear of the rogue and his AA versus the gear of the Ranger.
lol, and Mages and Wizzies can beat us both in short fights! :cry:
all we need now is a song about gnomes with pointy red hats, mwahahaaha
Druid nukes w/right AAs=Mage nukes. I know mage have good pets, but in a short fight, I'm willing to bet the druid will outdamage the rogue too. Well, a druid with the right gear and AAs that is, of course.
sorry, but no.....
Druids are a great versatility class, and can heal with the best of them....but as far as DPS they are bested even by shaman who suprisingly can dish out some good damage.
Mage pets aren't just good....they are the best in the game. A fully hasted and buffed pet does crazy damage and is part of the reason mages are so powerful.....add in those AA that give them like 11 pets and that Fire Dragon and THAT is why they can outdamage Rogues or Wizzies for short bursts.
Just because you aren't great DPS doesn't mean we don't lub you though. Without healers and slowers and tanks we couldnt do anything!
hey when you say Sham can out dmg a druid are you saying with their pets or just nukes? if its with out pet you are sooooooooo very wrong Grriffon but even with pets i think druids can do more DPS.
why do i say that. proof in point PoJ trials a sham are (and i sorry if this hurts your feelings but, and most shams i know will agree with me) totally useless. they cannot dish out the dmg needed. so in short fights i think druids are more DPS then sham, even with their pets. in long fight you are correct Grriffon druids lose cuz mostly they are kicking in healing cuz the clerics are getting LoM.
mage vs druid take away a mage's pet and guess what they STILL can out dmg a druid their nuke no crit no IDIV is still more then ours. mages get a nice 4k nuke and my best crit to date is 3896 and that was only WITH a bard singing that nice dmg song.
in a long fight a druid is very important on a raid between our added DPS and our heals to help the clerics out we come in very handy. btw druids do die more then mages and wizzys due to this one reason HEALING AGRO SUCKS! EVERY SINGLE ONE of my deaths on raids in the last week or so were totally due to healing agro. but sometimes you got to take one for the team, its the job of druids and clerics too keep people alive and we usually pay for it with our lives. after pullers and MT, clerics and druids rank up there on the top deaths in game.
anyhow just my 2cp worth from what i have learned in game
add shaman pet damage, their DoT's, and a nuke or 2 from them and i would say they can outdamage a druid on any fight longer than 30 seconds 
druids are so handy in PoJ trials because of Banishment......that uber nuke against Summoned mobs.
both shamans and druids can solo really high end stuff though so no point splitting hairs over small enough damage you'd need a parser to tell the difference
I can do serious damage over time but have to memorize a bunch of dots to do it and then survive while I wait for the mob to die. Wish I had more spell slots and could cast on the run like a bard! My nukes are worthless, no snare, and my root desolves when the mob is nuked or whacked. I love it when the group kills the mob faster than I can cast my epic dot.
Bim
Ouch poor Jane altho it is not a raid unless Jane dies one time even if she LD she log back in to die lol . But remember this all a Ranger did kill a SK in a fair duel think about that lol.
and the part about train to zone will ranger or this one holds they back so you little nonmelees can get out.
lol think about it how run's first or should I say camp's first not us rangers lol
KK agree it was funny tho
